Have you ever been in love with troubled person?

I am... besotted. It was passing acquaintance until 2 months ago when we met in the pub accidentally. He broke up with his boyfriend who abused him in every way (the police were involved). At the end of the night he asked if i wanted to have sex with him no strings attached(sorry for being graphic). I am single so said yes...I must admit at that time it was pure lust. He told me straight away he didn't want any commitment. Basically we spend night together once or twice a week.

He's reckless and i fear for his life. He smokes and drinks way too much and keeps losing weight. Sometimes he cries when we make love (no i don't hurt him). I don't know how to help him. I don't even dare say i fell in Love with him. I suggested that he gets counselling but he said the last thing he wanted to do was talking to someone who's job is to pretend they care about other people's problems.

I am at my desk at work but can't help thinking about him. He's a beautiful soulHave you ever been in love with troubled person?
The first guy I ever loved was incredibly troubled. He was a drug addict (every drug known to man, but mostly heroin), who would steal from anyone to feed his habit. We lasted for a year and a half, and when I couldn't take it any longer and told him it was either the drugs or me, he chose the drugs. Unfortunately for me, I still loved him. He finally died of a drug overdose a few years ago, and I felt terribly guilty for not staying with him longer and trying to help him. I'm now beginning to realize that it wasn't my job to fix his life. That was his own responsibility.

In your case, just spending time with him for now may be helpful. If you are available, when he finally decides to open up he'll appreciate you being there. But ultimately you have to realize that we are all responsible for our own lives. You can't fix his, especially if he won't open up about his problems. I completely understand how difficult this will be, but you are going to have to distance yourself from him a little emotionally so he doesn't drag you down. Think of it this way, if he were drowning, and you couldn't swim, you wouldn't jump in the water to save him, or you would both drown. So, support him, but don't get too emotionally attached until he gets his head on straight. Good luck to both!!Have you ever been in love with troubled person?
so....who's in love with you?





a beautiful soul. hahahaha
At a certain point people have the start relying on themselves. He needs to take responsibility and hopefully he will when he's ready, take the steps necessary to get better and snap out of it!



Do not take it upon yourself to fixed the damaged.
He's a victim who will take you down with him and then tread on you as he steps over you at the end! Sorry - I know that's not what you want to hear.
i tried to love myself..a brief infatuation,, i just wasn't worth it.

if a friend said they were going out with me i'd warn them off.

im a happy little soul as you can tell.

i aimed low in life...but missed.

im a bundle of defects looking for a personality.

if i walk into an empty room its still empty.

my shrink says i depress him.

apart from that

lifes good. i love my hamster. he loves me
be there for him, he will need this time with you, and hope he does not hurt u emotionally in the end. OMG, that is NOT to be taken literally!!. Bad choice of words! But u get my meaning....
I'm in love with a troubled girl, her pain effected me deeply. (still kinda does) but you cant do any more than BE SUPPORTIVE.

Show him affection, find different ways to show him you really are somebody that cares for him. Find any excuse possible to turn up on his doorstep with flowers....





xxoo

Finger_lickinggood
You can be supportive, but you can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed 鈥?and the only way people get around to getting themselves fixed is when the consequences of their actions become so painful that living the way they're currently living is no longer an option.



Some people hit ';bottom'; and then do something about their lives.



Some people don't hit ';bottom'; and their lives careen out of control and crash. That's going on with my stepbrother, who is in prison for seven DWIs, not paying child support to the ten children he fathered by different women, wrecking five cars, assaulting a policeman, etc. That's what happened with my ex (drug/sex addict, compulsive collector, alcoholic) who was killed in a pedestrian/automobile accident when he stepped backwards off the curb on the busiest street in the city while looking for his car keys which he dropped during a bender the night before.



Sometimes the best way to help another person is to learn how to help ourselves and *detach* from the other person's *problems* without detaching emotionally from the other person. Al-Anon was extremely helpful for me in learning how to do just that. I would recommend Al-Anon for anybody in the situation I went through or the situation you just described.



Check it out. Many gay and straight people have found it to be an invaluable resource.
as much as you would like to think you can ';change them'; you cant if he is destructive to himself he will more than likely be destructive to you. If you like yourself at all choose life over despair and heart ache