Thursday 28 October 2010

';How To Make Men Fall in Love With You With a Poem'; or ';How to Lose your SugarDaddy';? Which title should I use?

I think I just ruined things with my beloved Lord Percy Fawcette-Smythe

(again)

cuz he found out I have

a couple new boyfriends.

(again)



The one is Boris the Russian commie ballerina man

I am in passionate lust with him even though

he calls me his little sweet ';babushka';

which means either grandmother

or headscarf.



The other one is my Pikey boyfriend whose name I don't know yet

cuz I can't make out what he says when he speaks

I'm in louvre with this one because he does odd jobs for me around the house

rather oddly, granted

(has more breaks than fine china put on spin cycle in your washing-machine would)

but he only charges me double, and not trippple, like most tradesmen

do.



Alas, both these fine specimens of foreign meat fell in love with me right here,

in the poetry section of yahoo answers

and it was as if I had cast a spell on them with my poems

but not really, cuz I hadn't, cuz I don't do magic well

I just write real swell

and they could tell

even though neither knows any English.



Now, if you too like looking for love in all the wrong places, and finding it,

write a poem!

Just a few tricks is all you need to know

Like if you really want to make men's hearts flutter with passion for you,

split up your sentences

like this

for

dramatic

effect.

They

love

it.

Also...you can use...... a lot of... dots.

Don't... know why .... this works, though...

Finally, mention an attribute of yours at least once in every poem you write.

Even if it is just in a subli-LARGEBREASTS-minal way.



And if you just want to piss off the other ladies who just write poetry just to

snag a pixel man just to cyber shag,

just the way I snag them

all

the

fricken

time,

just write ';just'; a lot when you write.

Drives them nuts.

*snicker*





Which title should I use? And did you hate it? Or have you fallen in love with me too?



Next poem, ';How to Make Men Fall Out of Love With you With a Poem'; or ';How to Get your Sugar Daddy Back In your Bed';...not sure about the title yet.';How To Make Men Fall in Love With You With a Poem'; or ';How to Lose your SugarDaddy';? Which title should I use?
I just killed a cop for you, my darling - so I can be with you.



I read your poem and it was so beautiful. I knew right away that you are THE ONE.

I took my wife's hand and told her gently: ';I don't love you. You're a bit rubbish. I'm leaving you.';

I was on such a high that I barely noticed her tears, but she called her parents and they came round to see what was wrong with her. I explained that I was in love with you and how wonderful you were - I even offered to make coffee. For some reason her Dad looked really angry and I thought for a minute he was going to hit me. It was then that he glanced at the monitor and saw your poem... and read it.



He says HE loves you, but he'll never be good enough for you.



While he was telling his wife of twenty-six years that it was over, the cops arrived. I think the neighbours must have called them. I didn't hear them at first - I was just thinking of us being together - but they must have read your poem (to me) over my shoulder.



They're lying b@st@rds. They just think they love you. And I KNOW you DON'T love them.



Anyway, it was while one of the cops was texting his boyfriend (he used to be gay) to say that it was over - that the other three of us beat him to death with a police baton, a chair leg, and a hardback volume on Tai Chi.



And we're now having a Mexican standoff in the lounge.

Fools! As if they could stand a chance with your affections...



Oop! Gotta go! We've agreed a temporary truce while we dispose of the armed response team.';How To Make Men Fall in Love With You With a Poem'; or ';How to Lose your SugarDaddy';? Which title should I use?
just call it

';The Poem';
I am torn

quite literally, I simply cannot choose,

sorry about he Lord Percy thing,

tell me does he have a deep, rumbling voice?

can he send tingles down my spine

oh never mind

I think

i should not be

engaging my mind

in that direction....

I can write that how to make men fall out of love with you.. I am an expert....

but I want to see how you do it first...

now, I really think I need to get some sleep,

I was stood up

and I am rankled or

is it wrinkled, now.. hmmm
You can't drive me nutz

cuz despite popular belief don't have any

an you really don't want to steer my rear

unless you are a bit queer

me dear butt you is all woman like big lady bear

so I'll only hug if I dare

zat kay?
Funny, I used the same tech-HUGEDONKEYPENIS-niques to stalk and trap wy wife.
Wow you have a plate of Russian Men why don't you send a couple up north to me as it's 22 degrees and i need a big strong Russian man to keep me warm' his english is not important ' as we won't be doing too much talking if you get my drift..lol As long as the new one doesn't make me wear them damn tin foil hats he makes to bed' we;ll be fine as they scratch up my face and hands and it smarts a lot..ps awesome poem and i would call it sugar daddy's delight.????

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