HELP ME make sense of what he is doing before I fall apart!

Ok ill try and keep this short.


I started dating a guy I had known from uni last june. We were inseperable and things were great. We barely ever fought and if we did he was always so sweet and would insist that I dont sleep on a couch etc if I tried to.


Then summer came and I had to stay at uni (for work) while he went home to australia. Things were going on ok but it was a 3hr time difference and between my job, training and getting calls from him I was exhausted. I would only get about 4hrs sleep a night and I was living all alone with no tv or computor and this phone wasnt cordless so I was stuck in the hallway talking often missing making myself dinner.


Anyhow I broke down just before christmas. I told him I wanted a little break and that I was going home for christmas so I didnt want to talk again till i had had a good sleep because I was scared I was going to loose it. He pushed and pushed and would start calling 5-10 times a night and I just had to ignore the phone. Then he would ask me heaps of questions and one of them was ';do you still love me'; and in my anger at him for not giving me sleep time I said ';no, well i dont know, ill let you know once Ive calmed down';


Anyway of course I love him and I did tell him this again but things were falling apart between us so I booked a flight and went and suprised him by turning up at his place in Australia on New Years Eve. He seemed so happy to see me and we made up straight away. I apologised for being so hurtful but tried to explain how lonely and tired I was and how that made me make stupid decisions.





He forgave me and went on to spent another 8months with me. But yesterday he started acting weird, I thought it was because we wernt having so much sex (I had got a UTI and wasnt feeling it obviously) so i said ';yeah hun, we arnt having so much sex, you think its causing a rift between us?'; and he said ';we have had a rift between us for a long time';


its true once he came back he didnt treat me sweet anymore and couldnt care less if I sleep cold on the couch. He always says how much he loves me but now hes saying he doesnt know how much.





He has done this before and I thought he was just trying to hurt me for what I did to him over the summer.


He had forgiven me and even got me to book a ticket to australia to live with him this summer because he promised we would ';never be apart again because he didnt want to lose me';


Now he is saying he doesnt think I should come live with him in Australia.





I think he is deliberately trying to hurt me.


I asked if he would ever go back to the bf I had before xmas and he said he 'didnt think so'





I dont know what to do. He has already broken my spirit down many times over this topic and I know I was totally wrong to hurt him that summer. But why would he have stayed another 8months and made long term plans if he had felt a rift that long ago?





What are your thoughts? What should I do?


Is there any way I can bring my old BF back and if so how?


How can I make him love me like he used to?





PLEASE HELP ME


I dont think I can live without him. Please dont say there are more fish in the sea. Just help me with this one!HELP ME make sense of what he is doing before I fall apart!
it sounds like hes losing his feelings for you and the longer that you hang on the more miserable you will be. It was selfish of him to not try and understand how tired that you were in the first place. If hes treating you badly, why would you want to keep him?HELP ME make sense of what he is doing before I fall apart!
After reading this i think its best that you both try to find someone new it seems to me that the space between you both is just growing bigger by the day if he told you that he doesn't think he can go back to being the boyfriend you had before christmas than i don't think its going to work you both are hurting yourselves i would honestly say its going to take a lot to save this and maybe you both are better of being distant from eachother as for moving with him i wouldnt do that either not the way things are going right now. And trust me girl you'll be able to live without him becuase in all reality your going to want someone to love and respect you the same way you love and respect them he doesnt sound like that person
how old are you, and second i think you should have sex with him, because i dunno thats breaking u guys up??
The relationship has deteriorated , the relationship IS deteriorating - its only going to get worse - EVEN if it gets better for a while





Whatever happens make sure its ended with him having respect for you!
My opinion is to give him some time and space so he can decide what he really wants. And I've noticed that with most people, when you give them the cold shoulder, something happens psychologically and they start to feel that they may lose their partner so they quickly wake up and start paying attention again. I think you should tell him that you're going to let have some time to think about the relationship. Don't call him or email him. Tell him that you love him but don't act or show him you're desperate. If he really cares he will not need much time to think. Another advice is if you do get back together please show him and always tell him how much you care. There's is nothing a man won't do for a loving caring woman.






I tried to make this short?





You would make a great comedian.
Hun, I'm a guy who's been around a while and been through alot relationship wise.


It does sound like he's putting you through something but to be honest, whenever someone did to me what you did to him and then we got back together, I really never felt as close to that person. i always resented that they had such little concern for my feelings that they would just say they wanted a break and didn't know if they loved me anymore based on being tired. If you love someone you get through those issues.





The only recourse you have now, based on his extremely cold and unfeeling answers to your questions, is to tell him you're not happy with the way he's acting and his answers prove to you that he won;t be the person you fell in love with so you're leaving him. This will have one of two results.





He will realize what he's done and take you back and, trust me, be much closer to you this time.





Or...he will not change and you've absolutely done the right thing in getting rid of this dick.





He forgave you so, even though it takes time, after all these months he should grow up and get over it or move on.





Anyway, walk away hun...you'll either get him back new and improved...ir you got rid if an soul sucking anchor that would only cause you pain anyway.





Good luck,
tell him how u reeely feel pour your heart out to him
how is that short





i can't help if its too long
He doesn't want to be with you, but he's dragging his feet. That whole, 'mad love, I don't think I can live without this person' feeling will dissipate with time. You're just being emotional right now. Always remember, words stick for a long time, and we have to be careful about saying things we don't mean ... it's not easy, but we still have to think about it.
wow...


All i can really say, is that you cannot make someone love you.
Um....


Sorry hun, I know you said not to tell you this, but if he's treating you like this (and honestly he's just being an asshole) you have to let him go. Why be with someone who hurts you so much keep hurting you and not care that he's hurting you? This guy's not going to be treating you any better. I'm not saying to dump him immediately, just tell him if he doesn't stop treating you like he doesn't love you anymore (or if he doesn't love you) you are going to break up with him. If he doesn't stop, follow up with the threat. I know, that's not easy. But it has to be done. There's absolutely no way he's going to change if he's still holding a grudge over something that happened a while ago. You need a guy that will forgive and forget. As for ';making him love you like he used to';, you can't force love.





Sorry hun, I know you didn't want to hear this, but it's what has to be done in the situation.
You cant make any one love you.And why would want to.When you love some one you give that love freely.Please dont waste your time trying to make this guy love you.You are the one who is taking the fall not him.Believe in yourelf dont let any one jerk you around and make you miserable.It took me a long time to realize something.And that is I can be miserable by myself I dont need some one in my life to make me that way.Look get rid of this guy now and dont look back.You will be happier trust me it may take a while but you will.Remember believe in yourself.Good luck to you.
I think that you are stronger than you think and I have no doubt that you can live without him. He is insecure and immature. You need to stay away from him and get your own life back on track and hopefully he grows up enough so that he can straighten his life out as well.





Concentrate on your education and/or profession. If you are in a situation where you must continue to have casual contact with him, just keep it friendly, but keep your distance. If he is worth keeping, he will get the idea and grow up.





If he continues to behave in the same manner as before, then you may have to take action to force him to keep a respectable distance. He is a borderline stalker now and you may have to resort to legal means to keep him at a safe distance for your own protection.
The guy is a nut case he wants to hurt you for hurting him. pay back is a ***** either move on and find other people to be around or put up with the emotional abuse it is your choice to stay or leave. Good Luck
nooooommmmaammmm
If you know God you need to pray and ask God what you should do because you don't need to stress yourself. Pray about it and you change also maybe y'all need a break from each other. He seem that he need some time to think and if he is young he really don't know what he wants I don't care what he said 8 months ago. As hard as it my seem start to act like him. Treat him the way he treat you.