Can we fall in love with ANYONE if the psychology is right? Or do we only fall in love with the 'right' ones?

If we all knew one day what you liked to see in a partner and what you like a partner to do, say, wear, and how you like them to act... do you think that would be enough for anyone to make you fall in love with him/her?





OR is it less controllable than that, and even when we all conformed to the role of your ideal mate to perfection, you could still only fall for someone who was destined to be great for you in the first place?





Do you go out of your way to go after the ones who catch your eye and seem like everything u want, or do you trust that one day you'll really fall in love with someone and that they'll be the right one?





Some people (Type 1) think who we fall in love with is uncontrollable if it's real, true love. And some people (Type 2) think we have certain pre-reqs in mind as to what we want, and when we find it we seek to connect and then hopefully build chemistry and fall in love.





People who marry in their own race or heritage consciously are usually Type 2.


People who marry within their own religion are usually Type 2.


People who fall in love with people they haven't even known for very long will usually be Type 1.





What do you think?Can we fall in love with ANYONE if the psychology is right? Or do we only fall in love with the 'right' ones?
I'm admittedly a bit confused by what you wrote, but I think I know what you're asking about.





I would say that love is very personal and people have very different expectations and experiences with love. People don't necessarily control who they fall in love with, but I do believe that all people have to work on being in love. It's not easy!





I don't know how much I believe in the idea of destiny, but sometimes being with someone just feels ';right.'; I don't believe in the idea of ';the one,'; but I do believe in commitment and monogamy. My parents have been married for 24 years and I know that during those 24 years they have had doubts, fears, and fights. Love isn't about finding ';the one'; that you're destined for, but rather finding the one who will dispel your doubts, ease your fears, and love you during fights. I don't mean that idealistically - that can take a lifetime. Love isn't perfection and I'd say it's only genuine if it has been tested and you've grown closer through mistakes, differences, and (constructive, not abusive) arguments.





Chemistry is definitely a pretense for love and that's true whether the person conforms to your idealistic notions of ';the one'; or not. Love is not predictable or controllable - the variable is in how people handle it. You can have a profile all filled out for the person you want - but there's no husband catalog to go and find him and you have to be willing to compromise because cupid isn't compromising! Type 2's sound to me like people who need structure and control. They are less willing to let life take its course. Type 1's sound more open to the unpredictability that is love. Neither one is preferable in my mind - maybe type 1's through their need for control are more pro-active in seeking out a partner and recognizing when they've found someone. Maybe type 2's never find love because they didn't look hard enough or kept dismissing people waiting for the ';real'; thing.





The catch is that people change. Their goals, feelings, and faith change over the course of time. If people can't grow together in these changes, they can't maintain their love. Likewise, events can change the way people feel by demonstrating their true values and commitment (though not necessarily their true feelings!). Being cheated on can end a relationship because of the betrayal and trampled trust - but you could still be in love with the person.





So in short (haha, I don't know why I bothered with that!), I suppose that you can fall in love with people perfectly right or perfectly wrong for you. You don't control it. You succumb to it! And as your ideas of love change over time, so does your experience with it. You may love someone at one point in your life that you don't at another point. That's just life.





Ugh love is so hard to even think about let alone deal with in life!Can we fall in love with ANYONE if the psychology is right? Or do we only fall in love with the 'right' ones?
I think that you're partially right. But I know that most women have a list in their minds of what they want their husband to be. So, with that list in mind, they only look towards ones who have those qualities, therefore, their love is controlled but, by setting their standards early, they are given more of a chance to find their one.





I think that love is something that can be controlled. You can always allow yourself to have certain feelings. If you had a pet dog once and loved that dog, and then it bit your child, then your feelings about that pet dog would change and you would control your feelings towards it. Therefore, you would go from loving the dog to hating it and wanting to get rid of it.





I think that love may not be controlled, but I do think that it you can guide your feelings towards one person or another.
I don't know. I mean, you're definitely on to something, but I'm going to argue that you should include a type 3. I think some people (like myself) know better than to believe in ';true love';, and end up with whomever out of sheer convenience, rather than actively seeking someone who fits pre-reqs. Plenty of people fall in love with ';Mr. Wrong';, and that ends in divorce no more often than relationships with ';Mr. Right';. I mean, when it's all said and done, I think plenty of people will admit that they are with their spouse because ';he/she was just... there... and was tolerable';. So it'd sort of be a combination of your types 1 and 2. Plenty of people don't believe in true love, but many also don't really care who you end up with as long as you're happy, yeah?





: People whose number one concern in marriage is ';can I put up with him/her forever?'; are usually Type 3.