Sunday 14 November 2010

How do I make myself fall out of love?

Stupid question! I know. Here's the deal-Almost 4 years ago I caught the love of my life cheating on me. I was head over heels for this guy. Which is why I married him. We were married for 5 short years and his mom is the one that actually caught him cheating on me. I didn't want to believe it- it could not be true, but when I questioned him he broke into tears and at that point I knew. We held each other all night just crying. The next morning I began packing my bags. I moved out. We got a divorce. I met another guy, he married the women who he was cheating on me with and they now have a baby girl. Ok-So you think it would stop there, but no, not in my life. My ex and I live a block away from each other and to this day He keeps screwing with my head. I travel out of town for school and about once a week he meets me and we have sex. I don't want to keep doing this it has no meaning to me, but my question is why can I not tell him NO. At first, I thought it was kind of funny how she thinks that he is being faithful to her and oh how she loves him soooo much! Now, I can't put him in the past, we had so much fun together, we grew up together, I knew everything about him- his likes- his dislikes and then because of one thing we were over. I joke around with him and tell him that he still LOVES me and he giggles and states no I don't. But I am the one suffering-I can't get him out of my head. I still dream about him all the time, I find myself constantly thinking about him. I even feel like I have no emotions anymore. I feel cold, I don't even think that I can love anyone else ever. He got remarried almost 2 years ago( due to the fact that I was engaged) and had planned on marrying her on my birthday so that he could celebrate my birthday. That didn't happen because I told him that I would show up with birthday balloons and let her know! Then when she became pregnant, he asked me if that meant that we were not going to ever have a baby together? What's is wrong? Is it me, why can't I tell him to leave me alone? I know that he is happy now and that's what matters. Why does he keep bothering me? He drives down my road so much that my boyfriend is beginning to ask questions. I will always love my ex with all of my heart, but I don't like being unfaithful. Anyone have any advise?How do I make myself fall out of love?
You can't make yourself fall out of love. It just needs to happen on it's own time. You can however, make things easier, which you definitely are not, lol. Believe me, I know how you're feeling. My ex used to call me and say he missed me too and w/e, even though he fell in love with my best friend and was with her all that time he's calling me. You need to cut off all contact with him. Stop answering his calls, definitely stop sleeping with him, move if you have to. It's hard at 1st, but after a while of no contact it gets easier, and you have time to reflect on things and realize why you broke up and that you're better off without him. You're sleeping with him b/c, maybe even subconsciously, it makes you feel like you're winning, b/c he's sleeping with you while she's at home waiting for him, just like you used to do. But you have to remember, that he cheated on you and now he's doing it to her. It's easy to hate the other woman but that's not always the case. She married him and has or is having a baby, you really need to let them screw things up on their own, you don't need to be a part of that drama, especially if there's a child in the mix. Guys like him are scumbags, he's only doing this stuff with you to make himself feel better, and b/c he knows he can treat you like crap and you'll still be there and keep letting him do it. It's not b/c he loves you, you know that deep down inside. He might miss you, but it's just b/c he doesn't have you..The minute he has you back for real, he'll go right back to what he was doing before. There's nice guys out there somewhere..Find one. Or take the time you need to get over him and what he did to you and make yourself happy. That's more important than anything.How do I make myself fall out of love?
I don't think you can. Just try not to think of him. Move farther away from him and when you do meet up with him, just think about your boyfriend right now and how you felt when you were getting cheated on.
just cause aguy cheats on you dosn't mean he dosen't love you... he's not perfect, and you really did think you were soooo pretty, that he would only have eyes for you?? please..... anywayz, he screwed up, his mother obviously dosn't like you.... so why don't you just forgive him... and give your mother in law the bird... cause you can't let her get in the middle of your marragie..





as for your husband.. keep him on a tighter leash for a while... of course he loves you.. if he didn't he woulden't even be there with you... HE';S NOT PERFECT... don't screw up your life together.. help him get back on his feet.
The only thing you can do is be honest with him. Tell him that you still love him and what you guys are doing keeps hurting you and you can't do it anymore. And you never know, he may feel the same way about you. But you'll never know unless you have a real heart to heart talk with him. Good luck.
Lets get this clear, you were seeing a man who cheated on you. He then married the other woman and now he is again cheating on his new partner with you.


Your now being unfaithful with your new partner............................you deserve your ex as your both as bad as each other
Girl you have a mess why did you even divorce him if you were going to keep giving yourself to him. Do you care anything about the man you are with now do you want to hurt him the same way you got hurt. That should be enough to help you say no to a jerk that is using you he MARRIED the girl he cheated with it doesn't matter to him which one of you is cooking and cleaning for him as long as he was getting to sleep with both of you don't you see that. You might as well stayed married to him he is getting what he wanted in the first place.
I think you are actually attempting to get even with his wife. she's the one he cheated on you with and now you're returning the favor.





you don't mention if you are still involved with the guy you met or someone else. If are then you are treating them the way your ex treated you and that's not fair to that person.





The way to get past this is to cut off all contact with him. Move closer to school. Tell him to stop calling you and to not contact you any more and then delete his emails and texts without reading them. Don't respond to his efforts to contact you. do not allow him into your home and don't go any where with him.





He keeps contacting you because he's a creep who can get sex from two women and doesn't suffer any consequences for his actions. He doesn't have to have a relationship with you and you give him sex when he wants it. What was the point in divorcing him if you were going to continue to be with him? He's still married and he's still a cheat.





Take advantage of the free counseling that school offers its students. you need to figure out why you insist on debasing yourself in this way. You've already seen that you aren't able to have a healthy relationship with anyone while you are still tied up with your ex.





Good Luck.
wow!!! me and my gf did the same thing she dumped me i got a new bf then she got jealous and i love her so much wen she kissed me my heart dropped and i cried so i left him for her but he found out and labled me as a whore even though i havent kissed anyguy in 2 years im les so i have no feelings towards guys and ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years so of course ima keep going back to her but whatever you do in the dark shows in the light well hes gna eventually find out so be honest and sort it out with him tell him your either all myn or not myn at all
its so hard to push your self to forget your ex the more you try to forget someone the more painfull letting go will become,you still love him but you need to accept that he's happy now, so move on.but dont push your self to much to love somebody, time will come.

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