Sometimes I see myself going back to my old ways. When we're together I feel so close to him and start to feel like he's my everything again. After we make love and he holds me close to him everything feels perfect. How can you hold back when everything feels so magical? It's really hard to NOT let myself go completely and be in love head over heels.....you know what I mean?
What can I do to pretect myself and even prepare myself incase he breaks my heart again? I wanna be a strong woman and not go back to being a pathetic loser who would do anything for love. I still wanna be in love w/him but I want to love myself more. I just don't know how to put myself first.How to fall in love the smart way?
I don't think there is such a thing as falling in love SMART. You fall in love period. WHO you chose to fall in love with you might have control over if you are SMART and only date the people that are WORTHY of you, who are of your personal caliber, have your standards, aren't abusive, dishonest, untrustworthy etc - SO the smart part starts BEFORE you fall in love by finding, dating and giving your heart away ONLY once you know someone well enough to know they are WORTH your time and heart!
If you have to start talking about trust, hurt, pain, break ups, losers etc - then I'd say you've already gotten yourself into a corner that is hard to get out of - but NOT IMPOSSIBLE! Women so unwisely get involved with losers or users or abusers or addicts or convicts or cheaters etc THINKING they can or will change FOR THEM! THIS is where the UNWISE issues start happening and which get repeated and reoccur in womens lives sadly.
SO start smart, date smart, set some standards for yourself and don't let those standards fall for the lst hot, charasmatic, good kissing, loveable sucker that comes along and knows all the right LINES to make you forget yourself!How to fall in love the smart way?
I only get 3 stars for this answer? : (
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If you can't trust him, you gotta leave %26amp; not go back. Staying in a situation like this will only wreck your self-esteem %26amp; keep you tied to the past %26amp; begging for scraps.
Instead of repeating that drama, try going out with girlfriends %26amp; meeting new people. Maybe answer some ads or join a club where you can meet eligible men.
Basically I'm suggesting you turn the page %26amp; look for someone who wants what you do %26amp; wants to be together.
Good luck! You deserve to love %26amp; be loved. Don't settle.
go to counseling. it'll help but you in perspective of yourself. find new ways of gaining self confidence.
i'd also suggest to just let yourself love and live as freely as possible. the more you hold yourself back from others, the more you hold yourself back from yourself and back from living life. it'll just make you miserable, paranoid, depressed, etc. there are no guarantees in life. but don't let that stop you from living your life. yes he hurt you, it sucked, but you will continue on with your life. will he hurt you again, probably. but you'll probably hurt him as well, no matter what your intentions are. and so. stop obsessing, and start living!!!
Never settle for less than the truth
You seem to be quite emotional so no matter what is said, you may not be able to apply properly. In fact as an emotional person myself, I can tell you the only way you can actually fall in love the ';smart way'; is to bury your feelings and focus on the practical aspects of your relationship. That takes years to do and can lead to misery if you depend too much on your spouses feelings.
The only way you can accomplish what you want in this relationship is to trust him. Even when you don't trust him, trust him anyway. You know you can't depend on him so use that to your advantage. Unless he's just outright making you miserable, there's no reason why you shouldn't continue being with the guy.
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