Tuesday 16 November 2010

How can I make him feel needed?

Ive been seeing this guy recently, and i really like him the only problem is hes falling hard for me. usually thats not a bad thing if you like that person but its bad for me, i dont know why but i have this way of making guys fall in love with me pretty fast and its usually the type that you would never expect, the bad boy player types that never wanna get married, everytime i go out with a guy in like two weeks theyre telling me they love me and wanna spend the rest of their live with me. i dont want that at all and i just try and be myself i dont play games or try and play hard to get, i dont even party or drink or do drugs, anything like that and im not even that pretty so i dont understand how i do it but i always seem to be the reason a guy wants to settle down, well after a few weeks of the lovey dovey crap the guy has a ';guys night out'; and always cheats on me. so im fed up with that situation, well this guy is alot older and he doesnt do that kind of stuff, in a way hes already settled down which i love cuz iv learned that a girl cant be a reason the guy settles down the guy needs to do that all on his own, well now usually the only time we go out is when i want to and we just go dancing and he drinks(i drive) and im cool with, he really likes dancing so anyways last night he tells me that hes never felt this way, hes usually the one telling the girl to slow down and chill out i guess he doesnt like it that im laid back and basically not wanting to go too fast but at the same time i hold myself back cuz if i get too excited and start planning stuff (which is my biggest problem, i love to plan and orginise things) so when i do stuff like that i just get heart broken when it doesnt work out. well anyways last night he said he didnt feel needed, like i put off that i can be fine on my own and its true i can i do everything myself i think that in a relationship or even in life you cant depend on someone else its just set up for a let down but i really like him although if we didnt work out its whatever im just not clingy or whatever and he feels that hes beeing to involved and doesnt wanna get hurt which is the same with me basically he isnt used to be beeing the vulnerable one in the relationship and im not trying to make him that way im just a little more independent than the girls in his past and its coming between us, so i need to figure out how to make him feel needed with out making me clingy or too girlish or whatever. any help? How can I make him feel needed?
You answered your own question.



What you need from him is his stability and trustworthiness. You need to know that he will be faithful.



I think you have learned valuable lessons from your past relationships. You learned that relationships should never be based on the formula



1/2 + 1/2 = 1



It should be based on the formula



1 + 1 %26gt; 2



You are each a complete person, but together you become more than the sum of your two parts.



I hope it works out for you.

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