Tuesday 16 November 2010

How can you force yourself to fall back in love with someone?

long story short i dont love my partner anymore most of the time i cant stand him but he wont understand he just keeps asking for one more go and saying that we can sort it out

also we have a 4 month old baby so i cant leave him because i have nowhere to go and cant lose my son even for 50 50 custody



so what can i do to make myself love him again to make the situation easier?How can you force yourself to fall back in love with someone?
you cant force love.. but you can do peaceful co-existence, what almost all old couple do.. you have to think of your child, so give him a chance to prove himself for you. you may not love him but he may be the best father and provider for your child.. so what about accepting him as he is and try to have a peaceful happy family??

take care. my wishes are with you..How can you force yourself to fall back in love with someone?
You can't force yourself to love someone. You are certainly between a rock and a hard place. If you do not get along with him, the last thing you ought to be doing is staying together for the sake of your baby. You will only screw that kid up so good, (s)he will go into life thinking this is how relationships should be.



Find some temporary housing, leave him and get on with life. You will have some struggles but life will get better. There is nothing worse than living with someone you can't stand. I did that for 10 years and finally got out. It's easier to say leaving than to actually do it, and when I actually did it: I thought: it's that easy? and wished I had done it years earlier.



Your kid is better off with one parent in a loving relationship than two who hate each other and fighting. You will find someone else later on and things usually work out.
You can't force love. It has to come naturally, from the heart. The statement that you ';can't stand him'; is quite strong, so there must be something quite wrong in the relationship for you to feel that way.



If you're not willing to give it a go, then don't. It's time to move on. Excuses about children, etc don't cut it. You either have a life of misery which will eventually affect your child, or you get on with your life .. without him. Seek some advice if you need be .. lawyer, counsellor. Don't rely on family suggestions, but get somebody's help and take that step.



Nothing worse than living in a love bare relationship.
Ask yourself why you dont like him. Write a list of the things you dont like...one column with the title: The things you want him to change about himself and another column with the things 'he cant change. are you not physically attracted to him? is he not masculine enough? is he not giving you the attention you need to feel happy? or do you not like him because of his big nose that would require a nose job... i dont know - think about what you can and cant change about him..and try pin point exactly what you dont like - does he turn you off? i know it's difficult...but maybe you need to talk to him about what you want to change to have a successful relationships. Sacrifice and compromise are important in a relationship.
I don't think you can make yourself 'love' a person yet there comes a need to express what is sincerely wrong in a relationship in order to be able to fix it and begin to work on being happier. If you have not done this, you need to communicate to him why you are unhappy and also what would make it better to get this change started.
You just had a baby your hormones might be out of whack. Give your body a little more time to get over the stress of having a baby. You may have weird resentment for him right now that will go away in time, Dont do anything rash. For the next few months focus on what a good father he is to your baby (hopefully he is) and see the good in him think all positive thoughts about him no negative. See how this works for you. Obviously you love him you had a baby with him.
u cant force someone 2 fall in luv with u but i think u 2 should try to talk it out with each other not fight but have a conversation about this situation maybe u 2 can get back together.i mean this is for ur son so do it 4 him!



-Good luck
Its hard to fall back in love again...

But i guess you could still try for the sake of your child.. Give him a chance again and spend more time together like watching love movies and simple stuff...

I believe the child will still need his/her father.
You can't fake love...It has to work.



I understand your situation and motives though, but I'm afraid pretending will just make things worse.



Best of luck to you!
lie to yourself, if u lie for long enough you start to believe that lie and eventually u believe that u will be in love with him,

fake it till u make it, that's what they say...
damn that sucks.i fu have a day job or something u can b out of the house for the day and then spend the nights with ur son instead of him. good luck :)
If you find a good answer let me know Im trying to break it off with a girl but don't want to completely crush her feelings. I wish things could be the way they were when we started but I dont feel the same anymore
You can't. You can only pretend.
You can't force love.
Go back and remember what made you fall in-love with him when you first met ?
try a romantic vacation with just the two of you.
you cant really, i mean you could probably fall in lust with him. but thats bout all...
Try sex
you cant and shouldnt
can't
Relationships are hard. There will be times when you wonder what the heck you married this guy for.....or why you thought you could love them.



Many relationships break up too quickly because people do not want to work at it.



If you do not FIX your problems now...they will follow you. You have to figure out why you changed so much you want to give up someone that you made promises to. Someone who trusts you..and loves you.



You will end up in the same boat if you don't figure out why this fell apart...and what your part in it was. YES...your part. Relationships are two people...and couples tend to become human after a few years and have this little irritating thing of letting you know that life isn't a bed of roses all the time....there are changes...forever changes. One grows and then the other....life changes...things happen...you have to adapt...you grow again....things happen again....



It is life....and it is something you figure out together.



sometimes we want to make it about us and it isn't fair to ruin my life with someone I don't love anymore...etc....



But you are ruining more than YOUR life here....



Get some counseling ...marriage counseling and work on this together. The more you work on things together..the more you act as a couple the more you will realize the things you loved about him...or you will find you really do need to part. But you will have UNDERSTOOD WHY and fix yourself before doing anything without helping all of you first.



I don't know why you can't stand him most of the time.....but sometimes our minds change things up a bit.



Unless he is abusive...unless he is into drugs and won't quit...unless he is constantly cheating.....you don't walk away without trying to fix it.



You cannot force yourself to fall in love....but you can think you are NOT in love for a period of time...and you really are.



You need counseling to figure this out....good luck.

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