How can you make yourself fall back in love with someone?

My husband and I have been together for 3 years. We got married 3 months after I turned 18, lived together for 4 months then he deployed to Iraq for 15 months. While he was gone I learned to get along without him, and although I still love him since he's been back I haven't felt the same way about him that I used to. He's an amazing man, one most women spend their entire lives looking for, but somehow I just can't make myself fall back in love with him. I see him now as just a relative or friend-someone I love but am definately not in love with. Any suggestions? He doesn't want to go to counseling because he says it won't help, so I'm really at a loss...How can you make yourself fall back in love with someone?
You are probably thinking at some level that he won't be around for you in the future, since he left so quickly this time.

Frankly, I wouldn't pursue it. I would end it and move on.

If you don't feel anything anymore, the feelings won't come back.How can you make yourself fall back in love with someone?
Hunny, if he isn't willing to try I don't know what can be done, and hunny you can't make yourself love someone it just happens, Good luck
First you have to learn to become friends again. Laugh, play and be silly....sounds stupid....however I promise you that is what it is. Try to imagine him making mad passionate love to another woman, imagine being cast aside....this might help also.
You got married so young and you are not realizing that love changes is many different ways. It is not always going to be those butterfly feelings you had in your stomach everytime he comes into the room. There are several changes that are made throughout everyones marriage. If he is not abusive in any way and is a good father then I suggest you go to marriage councelling and work on this marriage otherwise you might regret it. Remember what made you fall in love with him in the first place. Make sure you both do those special things you use to do when you first met and fell in love. Have a date night with just the two of you at least twice a month.
Before you call it quits, go to counseling by yourself.

Find out what are the issues you have right now, and try to discover what the root of the problem is.



Feelings are very powerful; but they can come and go. People who make decisions solely on what their feelings are make huge mistakes, so use your head and make a list of pros and cons.



If you think that you are not in love with him because you don't feel like having sex with him, then dig deeper. Lack of desire is just the tip of the iceberg- you have to find out what is underneath this external behaviour. Do you trust him? Do you feel comfortable with him? Does he respect you? Women and men think and act differently; and if you don't feel safe in a relationship you will not feel like giving yourself to a man.



Good luck....Hope you can work it out. Be brave and know yourself better!
You wee so afraid of him being lost forever,you have built a wall around you.If you would look at it different,you would see it is only fear.You love him so make a go of it.Don't miss out on his love too....
I have felt that my husband and I had grown apart. And what I did was showing more interest in him and what he does at work because he really loves his job. I started to rely on him gradually more and more. So if you both want to get that spark that you had in the beginning back just get more involved with each other. It is hard to do sometimes especially when you have got used to doing things on your own. Just start over. Get to know each other you both have been away from each other for a while now. Look for what attracted you to him in the first place and work on bringing that back out. After being married for a little bit and you get more and more things you have to do you kind of forget what really matters. Make time to enjoy a movie and show interest in something he loves. I like to see my husband talk about something he enjoys doing because I can see the joy in his eyes which makes me happy. I don't know how helpful all this would be for you, but I know it can be hard to get out of old habits of going through a day. You just have to bring out that excitment of your relationship. Good luck and hope you get the advice you need.
You can't make yourself fall back in love, it is just plain and simply over, and time to move on with your life. If it is meant to be sweetie it will come back if it don't oh well it's over. At least you are honest about giving him credit for who and what he is. But if he don't seek help there is nothing more you can do, because it take two to fix any relationship that's in trouble. Do what is in your heart, and what you feel, this is something only you, and this amazing person can solve, good luck and God bless.