Sunday 14 November 2010

Married women do you ever feel like your husband doesn't make love to you anymore?

It really makes me feel bad that my husband just goes right in for the kill for play is gone and when ever we speak about it he manages to some how put a guilt trip on me. Before we got married { We were in college} but our sexual relationship was amazing it was one of the things that really made me fall in love with him but now all he does is it and its making me feel very hurt and even a little like I dint want to be around him. Counseling is not an option because he thinks our relationship is fine and we don't need anyone to tell us how to keep us happy { those were actually his words} What should I do ? I have tried not having sex with him and that does not work because he doesn't notice I think he is the only guy in the worked that can be denied sex and just move on with it. Can some one help or at least give some suggestions on how to reach him. He gets really sensitive when I talk to him about sex and almost teary eyed which is weird. Please dont say hurtful things or tell me to divorce him thanksMarried women do you ever feel like your husband doesn't make love to you anymore?
Maybe you should try an indirect approach--to which he won't be so sensitive and lay a guilt trip on you. Like (you'll have to tweak this) ';Do you remember when we were in college and we had amazing sex that time when you . . . . ? Well, I was just daydreaming about that and it was making me so . . . Do you think you could do that with me again--you know, kind of like a fantasy for me?';



Do you understand the strategy? It might work better than direct confrontation.Married women do you ever feel like your husband doesn't make love to you anymore?
i think YOU Need to hook up with the other guys that just posted questions about how their wife DOES NOT WANT TO MAKE LOVE any more...



:)
No matter how teary eyed he gets you need to communicate your feelings to him.
When he tried his normal thing, slow him down. Tell him you want to try something else. You do foreplay on him and make him wait. Tell him to humor you and just go along with it. Afterwords, talk to him about how good being slow is and ask his opinion. Great way to open the door for that conversation and get a few things worked out.
Well your needs are important..

Maybe since college you let yourself go ... as the years go by women think that it no longer matters the way they look ect but it does..so perhaps get in shape..if you already are in shape though..

Then over ride his we dont need councelling and just go..
Honey, it put up with that BS for over 8 years and you know what? It doesn't get better if you don't take a stand.



The rule is the following, repeat after me, ';Me first. I don't get there, you don't get there.';



A majority of men (especially the younger ones) are not sensitive to a woman's needs because no matter how the men do it, they get their need met, which is soley physical.



A woman's needs are physical but tied to our emotions and the more resentment you build with this guy, the less you are ever going to be satisified by him sexually.



How is the rest of your marriage? Is it worth saving?
While you're in the act tell him what you want him to do. Say ';No, not yet - in a little while - I want to do this'; etc etc Take control.

I don't think you should turn this into a major issue - just insist on a bit more fun. Don't fume about it, be assertive.
Try to be a little subtle about it. Don't deny sex just to get your way about ANYthing; it's not a loving thing to do, and as you've noticed, it's not necessarily effective. I would try something like this: When you start kissing or whatever and it becomes clear you're gonna have sex, say something like, ';Hey, remember that thing you used to do when we were in college and dating? That made me so crazy! No man's ever pleasured me like that before!'; Probably he'll be really proud of his abilities and he'll want to do it again (whatever *it* was, be specific) to demonstrate his awesomeness. When he's doing it, be sure to be vocal about how great it feels and how much you love it. Everyone likes encouragement.
I don't mean to sound mean but it sounds like he is not in love anymore. The teary eyes could be that he can't tell you he is unhappy. He may be bisexual and not know how to tell you. If he will not go to therapy - you go for yourself. It is no use in you staying in a relationship without affection. Good luck.
I have a similar experience and as much as some of the answerers say to encourage him etc. That is BS. Because then you are the only one who is trying and you are left feeling like crap because why do you have to be the one to realise something is wrong and why do you have to be the one to try to fix it and then the other person is adamant about their stance in the relationship. I say if you have spoken to him in no uncertain terms about how you feel and counseling and the whole bit and he is unresponsive there is nothing else to do but accept the fact that that is how it will be for the rest of your life. He will not change and even if you threaten to leave him and he seems to come around and want to go counseling etc., i guarantee you that in 2 weeks he will be back to his old ways. Been there, done that.
No man should be ';sensitive when I talk to him about sex'; at 31,

you should be having an active sex life, there are some issues to be addressed in your relationship.

I suggest you go to a councilor yourself, even if he doesn't,

It will do wonders towards helping you.

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